Dr.A.S.Kalra Astrologer

Reasons behind increasing divorce rate in India

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Increasing divorce rate in India

Major reasons or causes behind increasing divorce in India: -

In Hindu weddings, it is customary for the bride and groom to participate in a ritual known as the "pheras" or "parikramas." This ritual involves taking seven rounds or circumambulations around a sacred fire while Vedic mantras are chanted. During this sacred act, specific vows are recited by the couple. Similarly, in Sikh weddings, the bride and groom partake in four "pheras" by circling around the 11th Guru, known as "Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji."

An intriguing aspect of the ritual of taking 'pheras' is the way it is performed: the groom moves ahead while the bride follows. This practice seemingly contradicts the principle of gender equality. If we were to apply the concept of "Gender Equality," it would be more fitting for both the bride and groom to move together. Additionally, it is worth noting that despite the profound religious setting and the significance of taking 'pheras' or rounds, numerous marriages in both Hindu and Sikh religions sadly end in divorce. This serves as evidence that this ritual of taking 'pheras' is merely a symbolic act and does not guarantee the success of a marriage.

An alternative perspective on this ritual is to envision it as observing a train in motion on a circular track. In this ritual, when the man moves ahead of the woman, it resembles a train consisting of a single locomotive and one carriage. The man takes on the role of the locomotive, symbolizing power, while the woman assumes the position of the carriage. This depiction implies that throughout their lives, this couple adheres to a dynamic where the man always leads and the woman must perpetually follow, reflecting a long-standing, male-dominated mindset that has persisted over generations.

In the present day, with the increasing education, professional qualifications, and employment opportunities for women, and considering the prevailing discourse on Gender Equality and Women Empowerment, it is crucial to redefine the role of women in this ritual. They should no longer be perceived solely as the carriage but rather as a power car, equal in strength and influence. In this modern context, when there are two power cars in a train, it becomes imperative for both of them to move in harmony. If they fail to synchronize their efforts, the coupling may break, analogous to a marriage heading towards divorce.

In Hindu or Sikh religions, the concept of divorce does not exist. Once a couple is married, the belief is that only death can separate them. The idea of 'Talaaq' emerged in India during the period of Muslim rule, and the concept of divorce was introduced during English rule. However, in recent decades, divorce has become more prevalent among couples in Hindu and Sikh religions. Since the advent of globalization, the divorce rate in India has been rapidly increasing, although it remains below 10% compared to the more than 50% seen in Western countries. The influence of Western culture on Indian society is expected to contribute to a further rise in the divorce rate in the next 2-3 decades. The success or failure of a marriage also heavily depends on the mindset of both the husband and wife. It is anticipated that a time will come when many people in India will consider the institution of marriage as outdated, with more than 50% of the population preferring to live as singles or engage in live-in relationships, similar to the prevailing practices in Europe, America, Canada, and Australia.

Reason of increasing divorce in India -1: - Women becoming financially independent

In countries like India, one significant factor contributing to divorce is the increasing financial independence of women. In the past, women were often not well-educated or employed, leading them to rely on their husbands for their basic needs after marriage. In such cases, some husbands would subject their wives to various forms of abuse or domination, often driven by dowry demands or other reasons. These husbands knew that their wives had limited options and would have no choice but to endure the suffering. The fear of societal stigma and financial constraints made it challenging for women to leave their husbands and return to their parents' house after marriage. Factors such as the father's retirement and the reluctance of brothers and their spouses to provide financial support further complicated the situation.

In recent years, there has been a significant shift in the societal landscape. Parents now actively promote their daughters' education and encourage them to pursue employment or careers after completing their studies. This empowerment allows women to attain financial independence and not rely on their husbands or others for their livelihood after marriage. With this newfound freedom, women have the ability to stand up against any form of mistreatment from their spouses and in-laws. For many women, their primary focus today is their education and employment, which serve as their first and foremost commitments. As women become more aware of their rights, the government also plays a role in raising female awareness through various media channels. It is important to note that divorce is not necessarily a desirable outcome, but in cases where married life becomes excessively distressing, divorce can present a better alternative.

A note on Gender Equality: -

Gender equality is a topic of frequent discussion in India today, receiving significant coverage in both electronic and print media. For centuries, Indian society has been male-dominated, with women facing suppression in various aspects of life. However, over the past few decades, the situation has undergone a remarkable transformation. Women are now encouraged to pursue education and build careers in their chosen fields, and they have been achieving remarkable success across various domains. This positive shift signifies progress and is indeed a welcome development.

However, despite the progress made in promoting gender equality, there is still a significant hurdle that hampers its complete realization. The obstacle lies in the traditional practice of a woman leaving her parental home and moving into her husband's household upon marriage. This age-old custom has created a distinction between males and females. Unlike men, who typically continue to reside in their own homes after marriage, women are expected to leave their homes and join their husbands in their household. This practice inherently contradicts the principles of gender equality.

Reason of increasing divorce in India - 2: - (Interference of parents of the girl in her married life)

In certain instances, newly married women may exhibit impatience when it comes to managing household affairs in their husband's or in-laws' home, commonly referred to as the 'Sasural'. This impatience can often lead to issues. When faced with problems, some women immediately reach out to their parents over the phone without considering the anxiety it may cause them. Unfortunately, in such cases, parents sometimes offer misguided advice, suggesting a rebellious approach that only exacerbates the problems within the marital relationship. There are instances where the parents of certain women excessively interfere in their married lives, further complicating matters.

Reason of increasing divorce in India - 3: -

(Marriage against the wishes of man or woman)

In certain situations, both married men and women may desire a divorce due to their marriage being arranged against their wishes by their parents. They may have had intentions to marry someone else of their own choosing. However, it is worth noting that in contrast to seeking a divorce, many individuals in such circumstances tend to resign themselves to accepting their marital situation as a predetermined fate.

Reason of increasing divorce in India - 4: -

(Mother-in-law & daughter-in-law conflict or conventional 'Saas-Bahu conflict')

Another significant factor contributing to marital and family problems in the Indian subcontinent is the difficulty in adjusting to the relationship between a married woman and her mother-in-law and/or sister-in-law. Many newly married women lack cooking skills, and even if they possess them, they struggle to find time due to their job commitments, which often clashes with the expectations of their mother-in-law. This conflict frequently leads to disagreements and tensions. Additionally, some mother-in-laws experience a sense of insecurity following their son's marriage, fearing that their daughter-in-law may eventually take their son away from them. This insecurity can lead to negative behavior and strained relationships. Furthermore, there are instances where the nature of the mother-in-law is unfavorable, exhibiting traits such as short temper or dominance.

In such conflicts, it has become increasingly common for the daughter-in-law to return to her parents' house and pressure her husband to move out and live separately from his parents as soon as possible. Only then, she agrees to come back and live with him. If the husband accedes to his wife's wishes, their married life is preserved, but if he resists, it often leads to the breakdown of the marriage. This dilemma poses a significant challenge for many Indian men. On one hand, they may be reluctant to leave their parents during their old age, but on the other hand, living together with their wife and their children, born out of their marriage, becomes necessary. Some men hesitate to leave their parents due to the apprehension that doing so would complicate their inheritance rights and their share of parental property.

Reason of increasing divorce in India - 5: - (Misuse of IPC 498-A)

Another contributing factor to the rising divorce rate is the perceived lack of patience among some women. They are aware that the law tends to favor them in cases of marital or family problems. Consequently, they swiftly approach lawyers, the police, media, or women's organizations to lodge complaints against their husbands or in-laws. Unfortunately, in many instances, the provisions of Section 498-A of the Indian Penal Code, which addresses dowry-related cruelty, are misused by women and their parents to seek revenge against their husbands and their families. False accusations of dowry harassment and torture are made with the intention of harassing the husband and his relatives. This misuse of the law is detrimental to all parties involved and undermines the genuine cases where intervention is truly needed.

These girls and their parents, who believe they are well-informed, fail to recognize that the police, lawyers, women's organizations, and the media may not always have their best interests at heart. They overlook the possibility of resolving the issues through a meeting between both families, involving mature and sensible individuals from the society or relatives who can contribute to finding a solution. It has been observed that, in the long run, such girls and their parents may also face harassment from police officers and lawyers in various ways. In some instances, these individuals may attempt to exploit the vulnerable situation of a girl living alone.

Reason of increasing divorce in India - 6: - (Conspiracy against boy & his family)

In certain instances, it has been noted that some parents engage in a disturbing practice of marrying their daughters off to wealthy families and then promptly file false dowry cases against the groom and his family. This manipulative strategy is employed to extract substantial financial settlements in the form of alimony during divorce proceedings. Dr. A.S. Kalra has expressed the opinion that such individuals should not be regarded differently from call girls or prostitutes, and their parents are likened to pimps, transforming their own daughters into objects of exploitation.

Reason of increasing divorce in India or World - 7: - (Sluggish sex life)

Numerous married couples express concerns over the decline in passion within their relationships after marriage. Dr. A.S. Kalra offers an explanation, stating that the initial attraction between a man and a woman is often connected to their physical attributes. This attraction plays a significant role in their decision to marry, although it is not solely based on physical attraction but also includes emotional attachment. Young individuals often label this intense attraction as true love and believe that they cannot imagine a life without one another prior to marriage.

The initial passion between couples is often attributed to their physical attributes rather than true love. In reality, the notion of true love is elusive, as countless individuals spend their lives desperately seeking it from someone of the opposite sex but never find it. After marriage, many couples begin to experience boredom in each other's bodies. It's akin to consuming the same type of food every day; eventually, one grows weary of it and craves a change. Just as a person purchases clothes of various types and colors to experience different tastes at different times, some wealthy individuals change their cars every six months or every year to enjoy the novelty. However, it is crucial to acknowledge that while it may be relatively easy to change food, clothes, cars, or houses, it is not nearly as simple to change life partners.

In recent times, there has been an increase in extramarital affairs among some married men and women, even in cases where they initially had a love marriage. These affairs often stem from unhappiness within their married lives, such as a lack of sexual satisfaction with their respective partners. Furthermore, it has been observed that in certain instances, when one spouse discovers the other's involvement in a post-marital affair, they may engage in their own affair with another person as a means of seeking revenge or fulfilling their own needs.

In certain cases, couples may experience a decline in their sexual satisfaction due to issues with their sexual organs, whether it be one partner or both. Seeking medical advice in such situations can be beneficial in finding potential solutions. However, it is important to note that there are also fortunate couples who enjoy an active and fulfilling sex life well into their old age, without growing bored of each other's bodies. Additionally, it has been observed that physical appearance does not necessarily dictate the happiness within a marriage. Some couples, even if they may not be conventionally considered good-looking, lead very contented and joyful married lives.

As per the perspective of Dr. A.S. Kalra, marriage encompasses far more than just a physical relationship or sexual intimacy. Even if a couple is not experiencing an active sex life, divorce should not be the immediate solution. Instead, they should recognize that by continuing to live together, they can support and assist each other through the ups and downs of life, especially considering that their parents have entered their old age. In time, their parents will pass away, and they will need someone to provide support during both the good and challenging moments. Thus, they can choose to live together as understanding companions or genuine friends.

Reason of increasing divorce in India or World - 8: - (Fun loving generation)

Reason of increasing divorce in India or World - 9: - (Adultery)

Reason of increasing divorce in India or World - 10: - (Misconception that second or third marriage would bring more happiness in life)